if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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