She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
