i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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