why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
