I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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