well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was born a porn star she said
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
A+ Viking dick
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize