I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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