Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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