just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
