Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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