D3 body, D1 cock
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
