captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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