...so i touched it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
