Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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