There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
