If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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