with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
