i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We need a shit load of segways right now
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
