are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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