everyone is single if you try hard enough
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
