I CAN MOONWALK!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
