dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
