If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
