It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
