My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
