dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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