I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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