either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize