do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
