Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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