Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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