so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
