Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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