Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize