I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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