Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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