I wanna bring you to show and tell
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
