Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
