I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
