considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
