I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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