Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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