from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
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