y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
