Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
