it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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