Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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