you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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