My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
