hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
