u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
