Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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