fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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