trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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