If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think my moral compass just broke
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
