Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
