I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
