Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
