have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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