Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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