they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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