Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
