who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize